The Special Ed Teacher

One’s destination is never a place
but a new way of seeing things.
– Henry Miller –

Some experiences in life can be so traumatic when it does not turn out to be as expected. It can hit a person so hard that it can be traumatic. But some take it as a lesson learned and move on to be better persons after.

I was an Early Childhood Special Educator in the Philippines for almost 7 years. Probably one of the best, which could be the reason why I was directly hired by my school district from the Philippines to join the working force of Educators here in the US. I have no regrets, I am now experiencing the best (and the worst) of being a teacher in the American Educational System.

I was ecstatic when I got my petition papers from my school district and the Notice of Action from the Department of Justice of America. The realization of the “American Dream” and the thought of working with the American Educational System, where the Philippines pattern from their Educational System, is a big achievement for me.

The Professional Development which I was longing for when I was still back home was very much fulfilled by my school district since day one. And I was having so much more than what was expected. I became a Teacher Consultant in less than a year and I was sent as a delegate to the National Convention (National Council for Teachers of English and the National Writing Project). It was a big achievement for me seeing the "big wigs" of American Teaching Profession. Then I was appointed as the Technology Liaison for a professional Teacher's Organization (where I am a fellow).

But I was expecting so much more. I was expecting myself to be in a place or school like in feel-good movies that I watched such as “The Emperor’s Club”. They never showed the reality there. I am in an inner-city school and the reality is very well depicted in the movie 'Dangerous Minds".

I work in one of the best Middle Schools here in Washington DC and am very thankful for having supportive administrators and a school atmosphere and colleagues that challenge me to be the best neophyte teacher as I can be.

But what frustrates and saddens me are my students. I wish someone has told me exactly these words during my first few weeks:

-- do not go into something like this thinking that idealism can get you through 7 hours a day of chaos for two years. (and PLEASE do NOT go into your school with the "I'm going to be the one to make a difference with the kids" attitude....think it, but dont' say it. It will completely alienate the other teachers who have been on the front lines for years -- they are your number one allies, best confidantes, and you need them on your side!)

The kids will hate you but they will love you. They will test you and test you and test you and you will never earn their trust -- but you have to know that you are making a difference in their lives. And you are doing a good thing. And they will disrespect you and hit you and scream at you. And then you will take a day off and they will cry because you aren't going to be there tomorrow -- those are the tiny sneaky moments you have to grab and remember during your "I quit" fantasies. ( Teachers.net / bulletin board)

But I understand that some of my students face considerable challenges in their lives outside school and most often come from the most difficult backgrounds. Truly, my experiences here are making a big difference in my life not just as a teacher but as a person. But despite all these (which is true to any first-time teachers, not just to me) I am still determined to make a difference in the lives of these children. I am lucky because I armed myself with knowledge about Emotional Disorders, ADHD and Conduct Disoders while taking my MA in Clinical Psychology at the University of the Philippines. I have the advantage compared to most of the newbies in the profession.

Time will come when another teacher will replace me as a neophyte. Time will come when my students will see me as an authority figure in the halls of the schools. I believe that tough times never last but tough people do.