While reading the book "The Indigo Children", referred to me by my blogger friend John Clark, who's also a parent to a very smart young girl, I couldn't help to evaluate my daughter who possibly has traces of the characteristics of an Indigo Child. She has a very curious, inquisitive mind.
Rae, now 7 years old, "wows" everyone whenever she would eagerly play Christmas hymns with her violin during the past holidays. She also asked new educational digital games I've never heard of (like Pixter) from Santa for her Christmas gift, because she doesn't want to get bored counting the cars and trees that we pass by on the road. She asked her father to help her open an email account and would insist for us and all her relatives to email her so she would have something to read whenever she opens her inbox (almost everyday). She would ask me mind boggling questions every minute that we're together, and she would get frustrated whenever I don't give her intelligent answers. Believe me, she knows when I just make up my answers. She would tell me, "hey, you are a teacher. You are supposed to know the answers to my questions"...whew!
The two of us most often have dinner together since her dad comes home late from work. One time she told me out of the blue, "mom, I don't like it when dad comes home sooo late like 2am. I would wait for him everynight and fall asleep in the sofa waiting for him". I told her, "Rae, you should be the one to tell daddy that". Then she continued, "oh I know, I will tell him to get a job around here so he can come home early and that we'll all be together eating dinner and watching TV". She felt so satisfied with her thought that I strongly agreed. "That's a good idea! Give me the phone mom, I will call dad and tell him right away!" And so she did *smile.
I am anticipating for the moment she would ask me mind puzzling intelligent questions on human reproduction. I know that time will come when she would ask me questions like "how do couples make babies?". I can't just give her answers like "The Story of The Birds and the Bees" or give her an analogy of human reproduction and cross pollination in plants.
When it's your own kid you are dealing with, it's really hard to find the right words, I tell you.
No easy answers when it comes to sex-ed
While the debate over how to teach middle and high school students about sex has raged for decades, school curriculum has flip-flopped between stressing comprehensive information and promoting abstinence. Even as the chastity movement gains momentum, public health experts warn abstinence-only programs could be catastrophic if kids aren't told how to prevent sexually transmitted diseases. U.S. News & World Report
13 comments:
my son was only 8 when he asked me "where do babies come from?"
Ask her, "WEll, what have you heard?" Then tell her what you feel like she should know at her age. I don't know, I'm glad I'm past that. Back when I was a kid, my mom told us about sex when we started our period. I should tell you that I'm 55 years old now. Good luck telling her.
JO, I learned about human reproduction from a nun from my Population Ed class in HS, and I got a good grasp of Human Sexuality from Phil Legendary Sex Therapist, Dr Margarita Holmes in college in my MA in Psychology. My parents never dealt with that topic with us :(
LUCY Thanks for visiting my site and your comment. Hope this won't be your last time.
I remember when I was in early teens. The notion of what seemed to be happening between lovers suggested sinister and mysterious secrets, which I could not grasp at all. I would be really embarrassed to ask something about that subject to my friends, to my parents, or to anybody, even my teachers. It was such an uncomfortable topic, it was forbidden to talk about it among friends.
Sol,
This reminds me when my older daughter, Angeline, was about Rae's age. We were living in New Zealand, one day after I picked her up from school, she told me that her classmate, Laura, told her that she was having sex. Angeline asked me "what is sex, Mommy?" I wasn't prepared yet for that question but I tried to answer her honestly and in a way a child would understand. A few weeks later, I was filling up an immigration application form, she peeped over my shoulder and suddenly I heard her say "Mommy, they're so nasty!". I was so surprised and asked her why. She pointed at the application paper "Why did they put sex there?" Again, I had to explain to her the other meaning of sex as in male/female.
Annie
I was in grade six when my Science teacher separated the girls and boys in Section 1 and 2 in our school. That's when she discussed with us the reproductive system.
When I was in college, I remember buying a book called something like What girls need to know about sex and another one What boys need to know about sex.
SOL, don't let Lucy fool you, she's really 49. :)
I hate to play the "I only have girls" line here, but The Missus had all those "coming of age" talks. We handled it the same way as Lucy describes. When the oldest had her first period, The Missus had conversations with all three of them at the same time.
I wish I could have done more to help.
Hello! i agree! i've been always in the same predicament, especially now that i have a 12 yr. old son who in 5 month's time is about to enter in the puberty stage. and this really gives me the creeps, now when every information is almost available in cable TV, internet, celphones, magazines etc. I just pray that he would get the correct info from the right people plus the values that we have inculcated in him would always remain intact...:)
Sol, your daughter is a very intelligent girl! I can totally imagine you blushing red if she ever asks you about the birds and the bees!!!!
Surprisingly, my conservative parents were more open about this topic than others. I remember my parents not really over-sheltering me from sexuality. but not be overly permissive either.
My parents both knew I was starting to have feelings for boys around the 4th grade, probably because my younger brothers would read my diaries and tell my mom about what I wrote!!! But I tell ya, even though it went against the way she was raised, my mom kept with the modern times & was the one who helped me to feel comfortable about telling her about my crushes & dating, and yes even sex.
By the time I hit 5th grade, I heard "it" from my friends as playground talk. Because it was a forbidden topic in their homes, my friends talked about it a lot at school. But as for me, I felt like it wasn't a huge issue and I wasn't obsessed with wonder & curiosity because of the way it was handled in my household.
By the time I was in 6th grade, my church youth group did a study every February about LCM (Love, Courtship & Marriage). I also heard it from my 6th and 7th grade teacher, but it was all just the clinical stuff.
In the 7th grade, my mom paid for my subscriptions to YM magazine and those fashion magazines. Those articles helped me understand stuff that I wasn't comfortable asking.
My parents were lightyears ahead in informing me, so when it came to LCM and sex...they trusted that I wouldn't put myself into situations that might jeopardize my future and compromise my health/body/heart.
ANNIE, your anecdote could be submitted to "Laughter Is the Best Medicine", really hilarious. Oh how naive could these children be, and yet they make sense!
NICEHEART, I guess I'd buy similar books for my daughter...
FRED, By the time she's interested in boys, sex, sourtship and marriage, I hope I'll be the first person she could trust with these things. Really hope so.
So, you and Lucy both know each other *smile, I better join your circle, am I welcome?
SKULGIRLTRIX,Yep, it's easier when they talk to someone whom they could really trust about this topic. But I'd prefer to be that person, I try my best that she opens up to my about girlie stuff and I be her confidant.
NAVYBLU789 (LIZ), You give me brilliant ideas! Yes, I agree I should do your suggestions. I can't wait to meet your parents and congratulate them for raising a well-bred daughter, in every aspect, I am impressed! I need to be trained by them!
SUSIE, We're starting to give her books like Children's Bible Stories, she's beginning to ask me questions like who is God, Jesus Christ, Mary and Joseph, and other Biblical characters. Good suggestion of looking at Christian bookstores for books that would explain "sex and boys" to her in good taste and with values emphasized.
Talking about sex education to your child is good but he/she must be in the right age. I remember back in RP we use to think about these things as taboo and our parents would never talk about them. I wouldthink an 10 year old would understand the anatomy of sex better than a 7 year old but it also depends on the child's level of maturity. Certain kinds, esp girls exhibit more maturity than boys. I would talk about sex ed to my child if I think she would understand it.
certain kids...you lousy typist.
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