My best friends…
I remember my carefree childhood; I had the tightest circle of friends, we’re like sisters, ever loyal to each other, inseparable, exclusive. We definitely trusted each other with anything and everything, and we were so relaxed even when in each other’s home. I never had a boyfriend in high school, so my best friends were really my confidant; we met each others’ needs…trust, support, communication, loyalty, understanding and empathy.
In college, I had few acquaintances which grew to friendships eventually. (By the way, my sorority is a whole new story.) Most of these acquaintances of mine gradually grew to friendships primarily because of trust and self disclosure. We talked a lot, shared information, and showed interest to each others’ disclosure.
I went out to the world and did my best. I had my ups and downs, my problems and triumphs, my fun and tribulations. Then I would go to my friends, where I would relax and be relieved. These are new friends I found after I got married, we shared the same things, and we had a lot of commonality. We were together almost everyday, releasing the tension and stress of everyday life through just having so much fun together bar hopping or going out of town to relax in beaches and resorts.
They say that the quickest way to end friendship is to neglect it and sever contact. Yet it is hard to make time in a busy day and busy life to maintain our friends. But we don’t have to have hours to spare to maintain friendship.
Just an e-mail? Just a text? Just a card? Just a simple “hi” in message boards?…yes, just that can keep us in touch of our friends. That won’t take 15 minutes of our time I’m sure.
It’s sad when paths begin to separate at forks in the road of life…really sad. I believe friendship should be reciprocal. It shouldn’t be just me trying to communicate with them.
But what can we say for friendships revived after a very long time. Some acquaintances years ago could develop to a good friendship now, and a good friendship now could grow to a higher level of friendship. Whatcha think?
Call it serendipity, I found my way to several of my long lost friends and new friends in the most peculiar way since I got here in Washington DC. Telephone calls, e-mails, instant messengers and who could guess…BLOGS.
26 comments:
dati akong adik sa chat, at dahil dun marami rin akong nakilala at na meet, yung iba mga panandalian lang pero yung iab hanggang ngayon kaibigan ko par in... naniniwala ako na kahit gano kayo katagal na magkahiwalay ng kaibigan mo pag nagkita kayo nandun pa rin yung dating samahan nyo.
Sol, remember Ruiza, she was one of my best friends in high school. We used to write each other often. Last time I heard from her was in 95. I never heard from her since...so sad. :(
But you know what..Im happy because eventhough we were not really friends in high school(other than having a mutual friend) we strike it here in blogging world..hope to get together with you sometime with our online friend in Dallas.. :-)
DARKBLAK, Oo nga sana totoo yang sinasabi mo, na ang dating pagkakaibigan namin noon ng mga barkada ko ay hindi kumupas...kahit na may kanya kanya na kaming buhay ngayon. Nakaka-miss lang yung mga masasayang araw namin na piunagsamahan namin noon.
HONEYPOOH, yep, I remember Ruiza, kambal tuko kayo nung High School tayo di ba? Di na sya nagpaparamdam, di sya nag-member sa high school egroup natin ah. At least, yung mga barkada ko nung high school we still get in touch through our HS egroup kasi members din sila.
Naalala ko nung HS kasi, napaka-kikay kop at outgoing, parating kasama ng mga barkada. ikaw naman, parang ang tahimik mo noon di ba, at parating nagtatakip ng panyo pag humahagikhik, at nagaabaniko pag mainit....hihihi...joke lang. Pupunta ako dyan, kailangan matuloy ang EB natin syempre. Di pa tayo nagtatawagan ah, ibigay mo naman phone number mo sa akin para maka-chismisan kita tungkol sa ibinalita mo sa akin...hahaha.
Marisol, I totally agree w/ you. I don't do the one-way friendships either, in which I'm the only one doing all the work. I find that really annoying. Funny you posted this blog, because I'm in the stage of "shedding friends" due to changing circumstances. That's life, di ba?
But the nice thing about "shedding old friends" is that it allows the opportunity for us to take our friendly cares, take it to other places and invest it toward new people.
salamat sa pagiging kaibigan =)
may conference next year sa baltimore na gusto kong puntahan. definitely dadaan ako ng DC kung matuloy ako...
para naman makilala ko na rin si teacher sol, the blog superstar, 89 comments (!) on your birthday post =)
NVYBLU789, Liz, it's really difficult to be flexible and to let go of things and people that are important to us. But I guess we really have to accept that it will come to a point in our life that we will have to let go of these things and friends "due to changing circumstances". We need to try new things, and create new friendship.
VONJOBI, Baltimore is 30 minutes by train lang dito. I will be going there next week for a 3-week training. Ibibigay ko sa iyo ang phone number ko kung matutuloy ka para matawagan mo ako at ipapasyal kita dito sa Washington DC. Di ko pa napupuntahan ang Library of Congress pro hahanapin ko para sa iyo. Di naman ako blog superstar, mahirap maging popular...hehehe...baka maging target ako ng hackers naman (knock on wood *katok*). Friendly lang talaga ako, welcoming, at mahilig sa blog hopping dahil blog addict. *wink*
Ano kaya ang pakiramdam ng mga taong walang kaibigan ? Sagwa siguro non, no? At isa pang napuna ko, mas maaasahan mo pa ang mga tunay na kaibigan kesa mga kamag-anak. madalas, ang mga kamag-anak pa ang maggo-gloat sa failures mo.
When i was abroad, there was a time when i was really down and out. Yung mga high school friends kong wala kaming contact for years ang tumulong sa akin. Nagsulputan silang bigla from all over the States, established communication, and helped me out. Would you believe one friend even bought me a very expensive fridge? It was a gift. And I did not even ask for anything. Another one from Kansas sent me money every month. 'Yung isa naman sent deliveries of Omaha steaks, burgers and baked potatoes regularly. And the rest sent me checks. Grabe, 'di ba? And these are "old" friends i haven't seen for years! Naiyak ako noon. I realized true friends are real treasures. And true friendship can transcend time and distance. Thank God for friends!
actually, kaya ko gustong pumunta sa DC eh gusto ko nga ring bumisita sa library of congress. by then, my friend who's getting married in january should be in DC, too. ipakilala na rin kita sa friend kong si sol =)
hello...napadaanan na naman ako, hehehe...
Hello Teacher Sol! Belated Happy Birthday! totoo nga yata ung comment...superstar ka na kase biro mo naka more than 80 comments! masyadong in-demand, hehehe....
hmmm....i agree...life will never be life without friends to share it to...kahit asawa dumaan muna sa friendship, di ba? (pero wala pa me asawa, hehehe....naghahanap pa..hahaha...)
haha! hindi ko nga inakala na sa blogosphere kita makikila! LOL!
its really funny... i am writing my next post abt friendship. :-)
i also agree na dapat 2-way ang friendship. kaya lang mukhang kahit pagdating sa friendships, nagbago na din ang mundo.
right, the quickest way to end friendship is to neglect it and sever contact. kaya nga kahit how busy your life is, dapat you should set aside kahit na konting time to keep in touch with your friends. with the advent of technology, a simple text message would suffice, pwede na rin email or a few minutes na call - kahit ano just to show na naaalala mo pa yung friend mo. being away from home, i really try to keep contact sa friends ko back home - my way of showing that they are worth keeping =)
nice post =) (as usual....)
ISABELA, "no man is an island" kasabihan nga. Talagang iba ang mundo kapag mayroon kang mga kaibigan. Sabi nga nila (ulit) "you can choose your friends but not your relatives", hay! Tama ka na minsan mas nakakaintindi at tumutulong, at maaasahan ang mga kaibigan kesa kamag-anak. Maswerte ka sa mga long lost and eventually found friends mo. Ganyan din ang nangyari sa akin noong bagong salta ako dito. Walang-wala talaga ako! Naawa nga ako sa sarili ko pag naaalala ko ang mga panahon na yon. Buti nalang may mga naging kaibigan ako na taga-Maryland at sila ang tumulong sa akin, nagbigay din ng mga kagamitan at mga pagkain sa akin dito. Ngayon, masaya ang anak ko pag kalaro ang mga anak nila.
VONJOBI, what a coincidence, ka-pangalan ko pa ang kaibigan mo ha. Sige ipakilala mo sya sa akin, konti lang kaming Pinoy dito sa DC eh. Intayin kita!
DOPS, nung una kong nakita ang picture mo dito, akala ko pari ka, hahaha. Naku, yung asawa ko unang kinaibigan ang mga kaibigan ko, akala ko sila ang nililigawan eh. Kasi inihahatid sila at ipinapasyal, ako ang naiiwan. Yun pala may hidden motive, kinailangan daw nya magpalakas sa kanila para ilakad daw sya. Hay! Ngayon, best friend namin ang isa't-isa.
NAOMI, good to hear pare-pareho ninyong natamo ang mga pangarap ninyo sa buhay ng mga kabarkada mo. Are you still in correspondence with them? Mahirap maging OFW, mas maganda kung may mga kaibigan. In my case, buti nalang may blogging. Nalilibang ako at feeling ko marami na rin akong kaibigan dahil sa inyo.
ERUANNIE, one of the wonders of blogging is meeting new friends, baka pag-uwi ko dyan pwede rin tayong mag EB. Ipakilala mo rin sakin si Choa kasi ka-email ko lang sya, sa email din kami nagkakilala. Though kasama ko sya sa training marami kami noon at di na siguro namin matandaan ang isa't-isa. "...and a good friendship now could grow to a higher level of friendship. Whatcha think?"
NIKKI, "when God closes a door, he opens a new window"...di naman siguro yan 'goodbye', baka 'see you later lang yan'. Ganyan din ang drama ko sa entry ko eh, pero ang mga commenters ko dito (kayo) napag-iisip din ako. Nakaka-miss lang talaga ang mga dating pinagsamaha noong mga mas bata pa tayo, young and carefree, at walang iniisip sa buhay. Nag-iiba ang priorities natin pag tumatanda tayo, di ba? Cheer up, marami ka namang bagong kaibigan eh. Magkikita rin tayo pag-uwi ko, ipapakilala mo sakin ang Tita mo na sabi mo kamag-anak ko.
Sol, binuko mo naman ako..ganon ba talga ako kahinhin non? hahaha...high school days were fun talga..anyway, I will try to call you one of these days or maybe next week..busy this week eh.. =)
PS.
Si Arvin, I talked to him on the phone na pala..tampo nga sa remark ko..hehe
hi sol,
my best friend in laco back then was reggie santos who u guys know by know thru multiply e group.
we left daet back in 85, he went to nueva ejica and i migrated to the states. me and him were like brothers, we had lots or barkadas but me and him were extra close. he went bk to daet in 87 to visit me but i was gone already, he got my add here in the states and he snt me ltrs. regretfully, i failed to respond to those ltrs from him. one of my main objectives by joining diff bicol egroups was maybe i can find my other classmates especially reggie. i was looking at the laco website one day and i saw his name on the guest book with his email add. so i snt him email he answrd back and there u go. after 20 yrs of NO CONTACT, i finally found my best friend. we have talked on the phone numerous x. we talked about our memories bk in laco. and also what happened wth us since we parted ways 20 yrs ago. it was just like yesterday.
like they say, people walk in and out of our lives, but true friends are the ones that live foot prints in our hearts.
SOL,
so maila was one of those laco girls that when they smiled covered their mouths.. wow honeypooh, super hinhin ka pala noon ah. but i had plenty of classmates tht were like that.
i remember esperanza balce was like that also.
HONEYPOOH, hay naku, napaka-hinhin mo dati at parang di-makabasag-pinggan. Hanggang ngayon ba ganyan ka pa rin? Dapat Maria Clara pala ang nick mo dito sa blogosphere....hehehe. Intayin ko phone call mo ha.
ARVIN, I guess you really missed your Friendship with Reggie when you guys parted ways. Di ko alam na sentimental din sa friendships ang mga lalaki. It feels good reminiscing the past, those good old days when you were still young and carefree. Those "bagets" days when you would feel skittish everytime your crush passed by. Those times were so much fun when you had your best friend like Reggie with you. But see, your parting didn't mean "goodbye", it was just "see you later"...
Hello Teacher Sol! Good friends are hard to come by, and even when you get in touch after so many years of bing apart, parang good old days pa rin!
I got curious on which topic you were going to quote me on kaya napadaan na rin ako :-)
HI Sol..sobra ka hahaha..nang-asar ka pa :)!! Di dito pwede sa US mahinhin haha.
That was 15 years ago sol, people change. I dont think I would even be here had I not changed, But I had no regrets for being mahinhin in high school, I have experinced alot in life..in other words, I have matured..hehe.
Just like you said before all my inhibitions were gone. I think its pretty normal to go through that awkward stage...at least for me.
WATSON, thanks for greeting me twice for my birthday! I quoted just a line from your first birthday greeting. Congratulations also for being featured in Manila Bulletin's Blog-O-Rama. I was also featured with Tito Rolly months ago (March I guess) on "Blogging in Education). I agree that good friends are hard to find, and even harder to forget.
HONEYPOOH, makulit ako at kikay na noon pa. Nakakahiya pero nakakatuwang alalahanin ang mga memories natin of our high school days. Maraming birthdays na natin ang lumipas, maraming karanasan na rin ang nagpatibay sa ating kalooban. Pero merong mga bagay na hindi nagbabago, makulit pa rin ako! hahaha...talk to you later!
tama ka teachersol, madami naman akong mga bagong kaibigan. :-)
talagang dapat tayo magkita pag-uwi mo dito, kahit isara ko pa clinic! hehehehe!
Funny, but like you I became much closer with my high school friends when I came here. And like what Isabela has said, TRUE friendships transcend time and distance. Tested ko na yan! Whe you do find a friend like that, don't you consider it a blessing? :)
NIKKI, reading your entry was like reading mine here. pareho tayo ng hinagpis, hehehe. But I thought, why would I dwell on thoughts that would hurt me and hate my friends? They are my friends aren't they? They may offend me at times, but they are still my friends. The only constant thing in this world is the word "constant". We do have different priorities now. I thought I need to grow up and move on. I know we'll still be there for each other, we know that deep inside us. Cheer up girl! Dami mo nang new friends di ba?
PATRICE, my new friends here are truly a blessing, they were the people who were with me when I had nothing and was just starting my new life here. They were indeed my guardian angels. I wasn't close to Honeypooh way back high school, but now di yata lumilipas ang isang araw nang walang messages to each other's blogs or emails. Tawagan ko pa pala sya mamya...
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