Maren Rae's bisrthday celebration with her classmates. May 8, 2005.
" The two most important groups of people, as far as young people are concerned, are parents and teachers". HARRY WONG
I learned this long time ago. Long ago before I was accepted to BS Family Life & Child Development at the University of the Philippines. Long ago after I graduated from this college which taught me how to be a responsible educator. Long before I became a teacher and a parent.
I was watching my daughter just a few minutes ago in her fairy costume making big bubbles in the air with her wand. It was a nice early summer evening, with the sun setting at 8:30 pm. She was giggling and I couldn't contain my admiration of how pretty and adorable this miniature adult is. I wonder what message I convey to her during this crucial years of her development. Am I very supportive of her achievements in school? Am I pushing her too much? Or is my high expectations of her just enough to maximize her potentials? I just want the best for her.
When I was her age, I was an achiever too. But I wasn't as adventurous like her, I was afraid.
Fear is a normal part of life. Every person I know is afraid of something. Fear could be rooted from previous experiences that are unpleasant or hurting, or it could stem from an unexperience because one is afraid to try something new.
Since I was in gradeschool, I always feared going up on stage to perform or speak in front of an audience. I always joined contests in school when I was younger, because I was always believed to be an achiever. But little did my teachers, parents and schoolmates know of my fear of going up on stage. Several times during my schooldays I remember wanting to cry before I went up the stage to give extemporaneous speeches during contests. I always felt my throat dry, my stomach muscles tense, my hands cold, but my body perspiring. Even now I still feel this “stage fright” but I am always able to overcome it whenever I am already in front of the audience.
As a teacher, my profession requires me to speak in front of an audience, my students. I still experience stuttering and having cold sweat as I begin to give my students their lesson. Somehow, the words just flow in me, eventually, that I forget about the people watching me when I do my “speech”.
I never told anyone about my little secret. I do not want them to lose their confidence in me. I think that fear is what makes us believe in ourselves. Facing our fear and challenges in life is what builds our principles, which makes us achieve and be successful.
And I am so glad my parents and teachers were always there for me, they conveyed a message of positive expectations of me, that I was smart and good enough to be successful and be anything I wanted to be. For this I am grateful to them.
I am a teacher by profession, and I was a student too, I know how powerful is the influence of a teacher in the child's life. I am doing my part as a responsible teacher to my students. Most of us are parents, technically lifetime teachers too, are we doing the right things for our children?
25 comments:
Positive behavior of students can make a teacher too. Back in high school, I was so engrossed with the idea of being a computer programmer but the experience my Filipino teacher had with our batch (she taught us for three wonderful years!) made me want to be like her and teach Philippine studies as well. Now I'm taking up BA Compatavie Lit in the State U because of her and my dream to be a professor. Although right now, I'm having second thoughts since I'm not good at all in public speaking and facing a large crowd. I tend to get too nervous to speak out!
Sol,
the way i talk in front of an audience is i talk the way i write.
the way i write here is the way i talk.
but eventually you would get use to talking, and fear would not longer be a part of the process of your talk.
i am proud of you. you are an extra-ordinary kababayan.
Just a thought...don't friends play an important role as well in young people's lives?
I'm not sure if I'm part of the norm, but I just don't remember having a teacher during elementary or high school having that much of an influence on my life. I don't know, it just seems I was just driven at that time by my parent's expectations and peer pressure.
Of course, nothing against teachers. :-) I was just wondering out aloud. Or maybe none of the teachers I had then weren't really that much of an influence. You'd probably agree if I suggest that some teachers regard teaching as a job, while there are some which regard it as a calling. I probably ended up with the "job" kind.
That's why nowadays if there's an opportunity I try to know my son's teachers, and how they're getting along. Teachers, and how they teach and motivate their students, whether we realize it or not, are a huge factor when it comes to our children's success in the classroom. Even an average student will excel if the teacher really motivates the student, and a brilliant student may even flounder if the teacher is mediocre. Am I right? Am I even making sense? :-)
Just sharing my thoughts. :-) Cheers! :-)
I always thought of myself as a person making a " great sales pitch". I sell ideas and concepts. There have been many times when I find myself forced to teach a dreadfully dry story, or a really difficult algebraic concept. If it were up to me, I wouldn't have chosen it. But I have to pitch a "fantastic" idea that parts of my curriculum is real meaningful and it is valuable to learn. Being a teacher, I've thought about going into sales. I can really get those minds to believe in things they would otherwise overlook.
DRAKULITA, you are very lucky to have a teacher who influenced you positively. There are very few teachers who do. Overcome your fear. You have see people who have already done what you fear doing. Like me right? Now do what we have done. Courage grows with action. Fear is learned and must be unlearned. After facing that fear, you will be exhilarated. Believe me, I was there.
ANTONIO, right, kabayan. Salamat sa pagbati. Nakakataba ng puso ang mga magagandang sinasabi ng mga mabuting tao tulad mo.
RONALD ALLAN, as I said, very few teachers do touch the lives of the students. Sorry to hear your teachers were not some of them :) cheer up! you're lucky to have parents who pushed you up to be who you are right now. But you do still believe in the powerful influence of the teachers. Because you do care who will be your child's teacher for the coming school year. I wish you the best! Hugs and kisses to your child.
LIZ, my fellow teacher! glad to know you also read this blog. I agree with you that sometimes we are forced to teach themes that tedious and mind-numbing for the students. But if we have a choice of doing it our own way and not be too rigid following the curriculum and the state standards, I would choose the same way as you mentioned. It would benefit the students more if we focus in teaching them things that would help them in their activities of daily living, if we focus more in applying important concepts in math and science in real life situations that would benefit hem and be of interest to them. The state standards and curriculum actually suggest so. But we can only integrate them in our lessons. It inhibits some fast learners' potentials and teachers' creativity, but that's one issue with the American Educational System. Us teachers are powerful influence in our students' lives. We can either make them or break them. Your students are lucky to have you, Liz.
Hello! I received your comment recently. I love poetry. Do you love Poetry ? Jueteng news hits the screens today and the Japanese people and media are leaving Philippines because they found no Japanese strugglers. People are having a rally here 'cause they have no no way of making money but just doing jueteng. As usual the people are complaining.
Jusr imagine not only speaking in front of people, but also arguing or reasoning or debating with both another lawyer and a judge...
Kaya nga some lawyer don't litigate and confine themselves with paperwork.
Yang pagtuturo gusto kong pasukin yan. Hindi naman yung mga special cases na katulad mo. Yung mainstream lang. Mainstream law students lang...
HEHEHEHEHEH! REVENGE!!!
ANJEL, thanks for updating me about current events there back home. Yes I love poetry, I am teaching my daughter to write poetry this summer vacation, I think she's now ready.
PUNZI, di ko kaya maging abogado, ikaw nalang tatawagan ko pag may kaso ako. Nakakatuwa rin magturo, malay mo doon mo pa makilala ang magiging lifetime partner mo di ba? Ang dami kong natututunan sa blog entries mo.
hi sol,
parents are lifetime teachers, i agree. experiences also are teachers. a lot could influence a child's beliefs and values actually.
while teachers form part of the learning process, it is life's experiences that make up a person. teachers who influence students to be better and successful individuals are to be greatly praised.
your questions are ready now...
Teacher Sol,
In my opinion, the teacher is in the better position to teach a child. I don't trust the parent to teach the child.
The parent, on the average, is a busy person.
The parent was not trained to teach children.
Parents neglect the training of children.
Parents in general give very bad examples to kids.
Parents are very defensive of their kids even if wrong.
Parents seldom spend quality time with their kids.
Parents allow kids to say the f-words.
Parents allow their kids to bully other kids.
Parents just spoil their kids.
We need teachers to discipline them. Because the parents don't know any better.
Of course, there are exceptions to the rule. I merely say, IN GENERAL.
If anybody disagrees with me, just look around your neighborhood.
TJ,
like u said in general. not all. i wld not allow my daughter to do 99% OF WHAT IS LISTED HERE. of course most of parents and grandparents do spoil their children/grandchildren. again like u said, in general. i believe that most parents wld nt allow ths thngs to happen. take care..
sabi ng mommy ko sa kuya ko noong nag-asawa tandaan m eto jhun :"you are the most influential teacher"pag naging magulang ka na.
kaya naniniwala ako na ang magulang isang number one teacher.
ang mga teacher naman taga guide din naman parang piloto din...pag sumasakay ako ng eroplano iniisip ko meron din kayang kalsada sa himpapawid?kaya noong nagkaroon ako ng subject na navigation naku dun ko nalaman na talagang may sinusundan na daan ang bawat eroplano.
saka sa mga parents din pala napag-alaman ko na madalas nilang sabihin daw na "anak,lahat ng choices nasa sa'yo na!" para sa'kin meron din namang "no choice ang "anak"! pagdating sa health kailangan no choice siya example sa pagkain ng di masustansiyang pagkain.no choice din siya ang anak pagdating sa morality:example mawasak ang moral ng pagkatao.no choice din na isa pa is yung safety syempre no choice ang isang anak di ba?
agree disagree?
BING, experience is the best teacher. Yep, especially for those who don't know how to listen to their parents/ teachers. This saying goes to those who are adventurous and would prefer to try things out themselves instead of heeding the warnings said by the adults to them. I have learned good lessons in life many times from experience too.
TJ, I see what you mean because I am a teacher of children diagnosed with ED (Emotional Disturbance). And I can relate to what you wrote here. SAome children abuse the parents/ teachers because of the overwhelming rights given to them which children perceive as their power over the adults. Sad. I am so glad I came from a culture/ society with high respect to parents/ teachers/ adults. And I believe this is one Filipino value that we should preserve and pass on to our children.
ARVIN, you're one good parent, your daughter is lucky to have you.
LWS, dumarating din sa buhay ng mga bata na napupunta sila sa "crossroads" at hindi nila alam kung saan sila patutungo. Kaya nga nandyan ang mga magulang at mga guro para magbigay ng tamang daan at gabay patungo sa tamang landas. Thanks for sharing, I like your story about your plane ride. Minsan naisip ko rin yun nung bata pa ako at maraming tanong sa isip.
Hey Sol,
This blog is good. Maraming comments kasi may important meaning para sa lahat... ika nga the content is malaman, very significant and down to earth. I am glad you had both good parents and teachers who did such a great job raising you. I also agree with bing aka juliet... that life experience is also a teacher. I see them as the "university of life". As a parent like you.. I make sure I say "I LOVE YOU" to my kids and mean saying it like they are the most special people in the world. I equate this to contributing to their self confidence and belonging... just like your parents/teachers affirming you that you're smart. Pero, when it comes to discipline I also try as much as possible to differentiate that a wrong deed is the one being punished and not the person. Hindi ko akalain and hirap na dadanasin ko in raising my kids in a foreign land. Pero sabi nga nila they are priceless that's why we have to work hard at our role.
Cheers to all parents and teachers!
i taught for a year and i remember harry wong from our in-service training =)
anyway, i'd have to disagree that parents, in general, are not like teachers--it depends on the parent and the teacher, too. some parents are better teachers than their child's teachers, and some teachers are better parents to their students than their student's parents. and then, in fact, there are other factors like culture, gender, etc. it would be difficult to generalize unless we had survey data.
i'm lucky i had a few good teachers when i was still in school. through them i learned that not all my teachers were good. i strove to emulate my good teachers when i became a teacher myself. incidentally, my retired parents were both teachers, too. it's probably not genetic, but i suppose it rubs off on you =)
i suppose the best test of whether you had an influential teacher is if, when you meet a former teacher of yours, you remember a specific thing that s/he taught you whether inside or outside the classroom.
finally, i just want to add to "fear is what makes us believe in ourselves" that we learn to believe in ourselves because our parents and teachers believe in--and love--us first. and those who did not have parents and teachers who believed in them are those who are probably the most afraid of life.
ANONYMOUS, thank you for your kind words about my blog. I'm thinking about how lucky I am, while other bloggers are complaining about their anonymous commenters, here I am thanking you for the kind words. Anyone can post as anonymous, I know I have several persons posting as anonymous. I know you have good reasons of protecting your identity because this blogosphere is as vast as the universe and we're not sure who to trust. Trust begets trust. I know I can rust you and be assured you can trust me too.
The words " I LOVE YOU" are very powerful words, and yes, very important to let the people we love know how we feel for them. I say that everynight to my husband and daughter before we sleep. True, we have to separate the person from the bad deed. Lalo na sa trabaho ko, I always have to remember that. It' so difficult o deal with children diagnosed with ADHD/ Opposition Defiant Disorder/ Conduct Disorder/ Emotionally Disturbed. Walang personalan kumbaga.
KEEP SHARING YOUR GOOD THOUGHTS, ANONYMOUS, YOU'RE ALWAYS WELCOME HERE!
SHA, thanks for sharing a different perspective in bringing up a child. I was always timid and shy and always afraid to speak to people. Maybe I was raised to be prim and proper, nasobrahan yata...hahaha. I bet Swiss people are good debaters if they train kids to speak well in public, am I correct?
VONJOBI, tama ka dyan! Kung maraming magulang ang hindi gumagawa ng responsibilidad nila, marami ring guro ang hindi good role models. Hindi ko alam ang stats, hindi na mahalaga yan. you're one of the few fortunate people who had good teachers and parents who influenced you to be who you are right now. I was loved and believed in, Von, and yet I was still afraid then. But how much more afraid are those who are unloved? I wonder too.
EVERYBODY, now I am moved and deeply touched by all the comments and sharing of personal experiences here. Let me call first my Mama and email my teachers who influenced me to be who I am now. Luckily, I have their emails, now I can tell them that they made a difference in my life.
(Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young)
Teach Your Children
You who are on the road
Must have a code that you can live by
And so become yourself
Because the past is just a good-bye.
Teach your children well,
Their father's hell did slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams
The one they picks, the one you'll know by.
Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you will cry,
So just look at them and sigh
and know they love you.
And you, of tender years,
Can't know the fears that your elders grew by,
And so please help them with your youth,
They seek the truth before they can die.
Teach your parents well,
Their children's hell will slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams
The one they picks, the one you'll know by.
Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you will cry,
So just look at them and sigh and know they love you.
AIR MILIKAY, yes indeed, "The child is the father of the man" = Sigmund Freud
grabe, naiyak ako. The lyrics is so touching, thanks for sharing.
Good post Sol. Teachers definitely have a profound effect on young students in molding their confidence and character. I still have a 3 year old going to pre-school cum day care class and the change in her personality, the confidence and independence she displays are all part of the great training she gets from her teachers.
I have raised kids her in North America and one thing I noticed is the primary the focus on social assimilation and individual academic progress. Kids are not ranked by academic achievement. There's no competition for academic honors. Back in RP, academic competition is encouraged and whether it actually does more harm by stressing up our kids at such young ages I am not quite sure. I believe in the idea of letting the children play and learn and have a good time. When my toddler asks me to go bring her to school on a Saturday - I know she's in the right school!
BW, thank you for sharing your experiences in child rearing. I am one of the teachers who is an advocate of the developmental philosophy in teaching. This philosophy believes that PLAY IS CHILD'S WORK; play is an essential part in the lives of children (and adults alike). In fact, games and pastimes of childhood keep all of us, young and old, full of youthful energy and better equipped to face the work of our everyday world, right? Indeed, a favorable atmosphere is needed, where a child can risk himself to learning experiences where he can feel successful and happy with himself as he gains knowledge about things. It is important that he learns how to compete with himself, not with his peers. And in this crucial stage of development of our kids, us parents like the teachers have a very important role to play.
Congratulations for finding a school that helps maximize your kids' potentials. Hugs and kisses to your angels.
i think teachers are in the best position to be positive role models sa kanilang mga students kasi they spend most of their time sa school. pero very few teachers realize this. sometimes teachers also tend to give more attention to good students, hindi ba dapat mas bigyan nila ng pansin ang mga slow-learners para ma-encourage sila to do better?
on the other hand, parents pa din ang kasama ng mga kids mula sa pagkapanganak nila until they get old enough to go to school so yung mga natutunan nila sa mga magulang nila, dadalhin nila yun kahit saan sila pumunta. kaya dapat teaching kids to be good & God-fearing adults should start at home.
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